Bridal advice from Dr. Bride

In the wedding industry there are so many people who make the big day come together, but what happens when the bride herself feels like she’s falling apart?

Enter Kristina Smith, better known as Dr. Bride. Kristina has worked in the wedding industry for the past 17 years, where she started out as a cosmetologist. She soon found that her natural inclination for dispensing advice, combined with a great sense of humor would made her a natural bridal counselor and advisor. In this role Dr. Bride works one-on-one with brides, speaks at wedding shows, writes wedding blog, and has a few wedding advice books in the works.

We were excited to have the opportunity to ask Dr. Bride a few questions about her unique services, and see what her best advice is for dealing with those frazzled emotions that go into planning any wedding.

KK: Why do brides need Dr. Bride?

Dr. B: I think there are tons of books, articles, propaganda, blogs, TV shows out there that help the bride plan the production side of the wedding, so that’s covered, but what about the emotional side?

There is so much negative attention about the “Bridezilla” mentality, but nobody’s addressing it – so all this just enables the bride. My goal is to share my observations about the wedding planning process with a candid sense of humor, honesty, and realness that is lacking in the wedding industry and society today.  

My job is to help brides from all walks of life, from the “lil’ zillas” to the “big zillas,” to cope with the emotional pitfalls and give them the tools needed to survive the engagement and planning process.  Hopefully the skills they learn will make the Bridezilla extinct to the next generation of brides!

KK: How should moms/friends handle a major bridal meltdown both leading up to, and on the day of the wedding? Any tips for cooling them off? Deflecting? Distracting?

Dr. B: The best advice I can give people is this: Don’t Feed The Bridezilla. What I mean is stop asking her about the wedding, stop telling her it’s her “Special Day,” stop referring to her wedding day as “The Most Important Day of Her Life,” just stop. Stop, stop, stop!

When she’s freaking out, be a thermostat, not a thermometer, regulate the temperature, don’t react to it, and above all don’t encourage it.

KK: How do you deal with other stressed out parties? Let's say - Momzillas, for instance.

Dr. B: It starts with the bride realizing her wedding day is not just about her. She can avoid these emotional pitfalls by appreciating and recognizing others, and the parts they play in helping her pull it all off.

As far as Momzillas… they are just Bridezillas in mom clothing! (Laughs.)

The whole phenomena “Bridezilla, Momzilla” is just a cutsie name for what I call BBD, better known as Borderline Bride Disorder.  BBD is irrational behavior induced by the stress of planning a wedding.

KK: Do you ever meet with grooms?

Dr. B: Yes I do actually! In fact I met with a groom this week. He was feeling really confused because he didn’t know what part he was supposed to play in the whole wedding planning process.

I was able to find out how much he was willing to participate and get him excited about planning his wedding. Yep that’s right, it’s his wedding too! I set him up with a men’s clothier to design his suit, set up a whiskey/cigar tasting for him and his crew, set up a cake tasting cake company to do his groom’s cake: All things that he could do to make the wedding his too.

KK: What's your most essential bit of emotional advice for brides?

Dr. B: Contrary to popular belief your wedding day is not the most important day of your life. Your wedding day is a celebration of your love for one another, not a Hollywood production. It’s about celebrating your life together.  Your wedding day is one of many special days in your lifetime, some days will be better than others, but always remember, it’s all the of regular days in between that are the most important of all. 

KK: What's your best advice for how a bride can keep herself zen on the big day?

Dr. B: I know you want to look like the perfect bride on your wedding day, but I say don’t just look like the perfect bride, be the perfect bride. The perfect bride has a glow that no self-tanning lotion can give, it’s that glow that comes from loving and being loved. It’s a smile that no expensive teeth whitening system can give, it’s that smile that beams with confidence and contentment with living in our own skin, and it’s the clarity and sparkle in her eyes that comes from pure happiness not a Visine bottle.

Check out Dr. Brides' website for more helpful tips for recognizing bridal emotions and how to deal with the gracefully.